Another Go at NaNo!

Last year, my most productive writing by far occurred during National Novel Writing Month. It was quite a surprise, especially since I only decided on it a couple of weeks before it started and began with only a very vague idea for a novel.

I wrote every day but one last November, reached my goal of over 50,000 words, and best of all, wound up with perhaps three quarters of a novel that I was very pleased with. I'd been stuck so long in editing and re-writing projects that have dragged on for way too long, that going at a fresh idea with little expectation, but with the commitment to churn out the words, no matter what, was extremely liberating.

Trouble is, when November ended, I let my efforts slow, and before long, it all came to a halt. Clearly, it was all psychological - both the creative burst and the flat-lining. And, unfortunately, I don't yet understand myself enough to keep myself as active and productive as I'd like to be.

But November is here again, and I'm feeling some of the same sense of excitement and optimism that I felt this time last year. I'm going to go at it, unconcerned about ultimate quality, but alert to the trickle of ideas and motivations that materialized daily during NaNo 2019.

However it goes, I'm extremely grateful to the organization and the volunteers and other participants who make Nano happen. However much I don't understand about how and why it worked for me, it's very clear that Community and Structure were key. I don't expect it to be the same experience as last year (when there was neither Covid nor an Election with the fate of the World riding on it to distract) but I already know that it'll be good!

Actually, I'm realizing that another big factor in last year's success was Trust. Trust in the creative process and the very act of writing. Barbara, a member of my first writing group, used to say about all problems that come up in creative writing, "Work it out on the page!" And she was right. Part of last year's wonder - which I let myself forget come December - was how the subconscious always came through when I simply sat down to write without having already worked out what I was going to write.

So here's to Trusting enough for the writing to be an act of Creative Freedom!

Just Voted!

I just got confirmation that my ballot for the 2020 US Election has been received, my signature has been verified, and my votes have been tabulated. 

I am both a Canadian and a US citizen. I vote in both countries and my US voting home is Seattle, Washington. (for a 2016 post, about the character and substance of an election in the US, go to https://obsidianblooms.blogspot.com/2016/11/)

Like much of the World, I'm caught up in the Trump-Biden contest and think it will mark a sharp fork in the forward course of history, however it turns out. I've been pretty pessimistic about the wisdom of Americans, and fearful of a wave of violence that I think is very possible. But my mood has shifted beyond hope toward optimism during these last weeks. I haven't written the letters or made the calls I intended - any of the actual grunt work of shifting the mildly interested and the borderline unaware into action, into voting. But I've been involved via my thinking and speaking and writing. And whether or not it makes any kind of difference, I'm seeing and feeling so much how the life of an individual is wrapped up in the life of the communities to which they belong. We are such social creatures, and that biological fact, that matter of our wiring, will always have its way with us, with our feelings, our needs, our decisions about what's important. Who we are collectively can't help but mirror who we are individually, in all our unique and multiple glories.

I had some powerful lessons on the impact of individual character on communal character during my years in social work.  For a number of years I worked in public schools, working with some of those students whose didn't manage to thrive in their school environments, and it was a revelation to learn how much these environments reflected the personalities of the principals.

In both Seattle and Toronto I was able to make direct comparisons between pairs of schools with different types of leaders.

One of the Seattle schools had a principal who was always at the front doors in the morning and when the day ended, interacting with students, most of whom she knew by name. She was in and out of classrooms and in the halls. She created an atmosphere of connection and empathy throughout the school community. Even the 'behavioral problems' I worked with liked, respected and felt supported by her. And the teachers all felt that she was aware of the challenges they faced and knew that they could extend themselves and try new things without fear of being unfairly penalized anytime something went wrong.

The principal of the other Seattle school, on the other hand, was almost always in his office or downtown currying favor with the central administration. He was lauded for having 'pull' and for getting resources that other schools didn't, but the price was huge. The entire school atmosphere was weighed down by stress and worry. Teachers felt isolated and on-guard and few were willing to try anything beyond making sure that they met all mandated requirements, whether they had anything to do with actually teaching and supporting their students or not. The student body was chaotic, with a much higher rate of disciplinary problems than the other school, and with problems that reached a higher level of seriousness.

The differences in the Toronto schools was equally stark. One considered itself a 'community school'. The principal was often in the halls and classrooms, as a smiling, supportive presence. But he was also often out of the building, but within the community, working with government and community agencies on issues that directly affected the school community. And these other agencies, including my own, were situated throughout the building, on a daily or weekly basis, providing almost a supplementary staff. Parents were always in the building as well, either supporting teachers in classrooms, or getting services themselves, like ESL lessons or food supplements.

The other Toronto school was like a fortress. Gaining admission to work with students involved an elaborate process. I was one of very few outside professionals who was ever in the building; few of the other community agencies had any presence what-so-ever. One notable exception was that the principal sometimes called in the police. On one occassion, they entered a classroom to handcuff and remove an eighth-grader on the spot. This principal, while often in the halls, was there purely as a disciplinarian, to intimidate the children into obedience. Neither they nor the school staff felt supported.

These 'side' effects of leadership in schools parallel those we see on the national and international levels. Leadership by Trump has stimulated the energies of fear, conflict and mistrust throughout America. Even if one accepts what his supporters acclaim as accomplishments, they have come at an enormous price, which they could not deny if they allowed themselves to see. And I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that another four years of the Trump administration could erode what's good about the US beyond the point of repair. He's a principal who has allowed the heart and soul of the nation to become diseased. Or rather, he's allowed the disease - that is present in any community to some degree - to take hold, spread and begin to damage the vital organs. It's so fitting that he may be ushered out by a viral disease that so perfectly mirrors the spiritual disease he has weaponized and brought with him to the most powerful and important role on the planet.

I'm very excited by the numbers I'm hearing from the daily newscasts, reflecting record-shattering early and absentee voting, and hinting at a potentially historic turnout. My own voting, by the way, was done entirely by email. I submitted my signed package with a click, and then tracked it through receipt, examination, signature verification and tabulation, all within about 16 hours. Amazing.

We may be about to emerge from a national horror. May we do so, and Learn from it.

The Courage Required

          People are always being celebrated for their courage and heroism for doing the accepted and expected thing. Soldiers, police and 1^st responders, most of all, are cited for heroically carrying out their jobs. But these are, in fact their jobs, and jobs they have volunteered for and been trained to do. It’s laudable when they do these jobs well and with commitment, but I don’t think that this, in and of itself, earns them the designation ‘hero’.

          What I think is far more courageous is to do the unexpected and even the un-accepted, for a good that transcends your own, personal interest. So the people I want to call attention to in these troubled times, are the life-long republicans who are speaking out against Donald Trump.

          Personally, I don’t really think it should be a difficult thing to be anti-Trump. To me, the man is so obviously narcissistic, grossly immature, morally vacuous and deeply ignorant that I continue to find it hard to believe that he developed a following in the first place. But what I do understand is that many people, while recognizing all of these deficits, were so committed to particular policy positions, such as a conservative Supreme Court, the repeal of Roe v. Wade, and gun rights, that they calculated that a vote for Trump was an acceptable price to pay. I don’t agree with these conservative positions, so it’s very easy for me to reject Trump for these reasons on top of his character flaws. But I can see how difficult a calculation I’d have to make if Trump and Biden’s policy positions reversed.

          So I want to applaud and thank republicans such as those behind the Lincoln Project, who recognize that the current election is a matter of choosing between Trump and America. They see what a caustic effect Trump’s presidency is having on the most fundamental characteristics of American democracy, things like ease of voting, independence and trust in the courts and the media.

          But I also recognize that many republicans who turn from Trump will pay a heavy cost. Some are being rejected by their communities and their friends. Some will suffer in their professional lives. And some will live with a deep sense of doubt, having turned against the candidate most likely to further their most valued policy beliefs. This is real courage and heroism. And I’m appreciative.