I remember very little about The
Peloponnesian War, the history by Thucydides that I studied in my first year
at the Phillips Exeter Academy. The history covers the thirty year conflict
between the Athenian and the Spartan city states, during the Fifth Century B.C.
What I do remember, if only well enough to paraphrase, is the historian’s concept
that we get to know human beings best when they are most challenged, that
during times of high danger, violence, death and stress, we reveal who we are.
One of the best things about going
to Exeter was being challenged in a wide variety of new ways, and so
discovering new parts of myself. That included my inner athlete. In my family,
Big Brother Rhett was the Athlete, while I was the Bookworm. And I only really learned
I had a decent athleticism when I was not only a starter on the varsity
football team, but also the co-Captain of the track and field team.
Track and field is a pretty individualized
sport, so as captain there wasn’t much for me to do. Except win. I was pretty good
at heaving the shotput and I went through the entire winter season winning.
Until the season-ending meet against historic rival Andover, that is. During an
early round of tosses, Andover’s third-ranked shot-putter surpassed his
previous career best by about a foot. It was one of those perfect alignments of
angle, thrust and adrenalin that even the inexpert stumble into every now and
then, and his put landed him just beyond my own thus-far leading mark.
I’d made many puts during the
course of the season that would give me a win, both in competition and in
practice sessions. But though this didn’t even approach a dangerous situation,
it was a moment of great stress for me, personally. I was expected to win. And
my team was counting on me. But in this moment, when my character would be
revealed, I choked! I tensed up, began to over-think the situation. And I
couldn’t block out the gleeful cheering of Andover’s home crowd, peering down
from the overhead running track, excited at the prospect of the upset. I can
still remember putting up my final shot. My form was fine, but the
over-thinking made me tense and slow. The shot didn’t have a chance. And I’ll never
erase the memory of the cheer that went up when the metal sphere thudded into
the sandpit, landing pitifully short.
It was a low point in my life. I
realized that I wasn’t and had never been the person to fly into a conflict or
challenge loose and eager and confident, determined to seize the day and ready
to deliver my best. I was depressed for days. But since it remains one of the
worst of my life’s emotional ditches, I gladly accept it as a major marker. And
the great thing about the moment was the insight I gained into how I’m put
together, and that I’ve been able to learn and grow from that insight.
I’m looking out at this strange
world we’re all in now and I’m realizing what a terrible challenge it will
present to so many of us. I think of people who need to go to work if they want
to feed their families, and who face the decision of whether to go into an
unsafe workplace. I think of the hospital staffers who are considering quitting
because they have children and parents they fear they will endanger. I think of
those whose businesses and careers have come to a screeching halt, who will have
to face whatever stark compromise or sacrifice they are called upon to make.
Many are finding themselves tested in ways they couldn’t have imagined a month
ago.
And here I sit, so blessed that I have
no such impossible challenges to face just now. Not that there isn’t one just
around the corner.
Among all those others being
challenged, I’m also thinking of the politicians and government officials, and
the calls they are having to make, the calls they may be avoiding having to
make. And all those who desperately want these decisions to fall a certain way,
but are powerless to affect them, except by lifting their voices or tweeting
their tweets.
Just tonight, I hear reports of a
couple of actions being considered that I have opinions about. I’m not directly
involved in either, but isn’t one of the things we’re learning that everything each of us does is connected to all the rest of us?
I hear that Trump is considering
sealing off New York City to suppress the spread of COVID 19. My general take
on things is that Trump is a fool, but I actually agree with him on this one.
And I was surprised to hear that Cuomo immediately came out against it. In the
last weeks it’s been Cuomo relentlessly pushing Trump to take more drastic and
assertive action, but now he’s resisting it. It strikes me as an obvious next
step, and parallel to the extreme but effective actions taken in China, Italy
and elsewhere.
There is also some consideration
being given to extending the shutdown of businesses in some sectors, and the
question of which businesses should be considered essential and therefore exempt.
An opinion was expressed that barbershops in the Black community should be
considered essential, as community gathering spaces, and I’m totally opposed to
that position. As true as it is that particular businesses have an elevated
importance in some communities as compared to others, this decision should be
made based purely on the danger of infectious contact and the utility of the business.
Seems to me that while a plumber, keeping the water flowing and able to work
alone, is appropriately considered essential, a barber needing to touch each
client to provide that haircut can be reasonably expected to sacrifice trade
during this crisis.
These are questions that must be
decided as impartially and as practically as possible, and our communities must
be willing to forego political and pressure considerations, at least at this
stage. Later on, in the recovery process, the playing field ought to be leveled
as much as possible, such that those who have the greatest need are the most
supported, after which those who have suffered loses can be compensated. Will
these choices and considerations be weighed fairly and ethically? Sadly to say,
probably not. The character of the nation and of we individuals that make it
up, is imperfect, and this crisis will reveal many of our flaws. Let us hope,
as Thucydides would have it, that we observe, learn and continue to grow as we
slog our way forward.
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