Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Sex & Old Married Dudes

Guess I should keep that singular, because I'm sure that at various points in the following paragraphs, others will be thinking, "Speak for your self!" And I must confess that, unlike when I was in high school and college, when I get together with other guys of my generation, we don't generally have a whole lot to say about our sexual adventures, our appetites, nor our fantasies. There are a couple of notable exceptions to that, but as they say, the exceptions prove the rule. Basically, I don't have a clue about the sex life of most other guys my age.

But you know, come to think of it, I was never one of those guys who talked a lot with other guys about my sex life. The vast majority of that talk happened either with women I was having sex with, or with women I wanted to be having sex with. In fact, I remember a funny interaction that was both embarassing and revealing at the time it happened.

This goes back to the time when Black men supposedly "didn't eat pussy". You wouldn't believe the oratory that used to fly among young Black men when the subject came up. Some brothers would assert to high heaven, with every rhetorical flourish imaginable, how dead set they were against ever eating pussy.  They'd go on about the lack of manliness and the flaws of character evident in any man who would consider it, how even if they wanted to try it, their bodies would revolt at the thought, making it impossible - due to the very laws of nature - for their lips to ever touch "there".

I probably said my piece too, but I'd like to think that I mostly just stayed quiet and hoped no one asked me directly, because I know I'd never have admitted to the awful truth. Yes! I was a pussy eater! Or at least I was learning. (No denying that getting cunnilingus right is a lot harder than any of us gave credit)

So one day, I was talking with my White girlfriend about it. I may have been trying to get her to understand what a special deal she had going, being with a Black man who defied such a powerful taboo, who would go down on her with neither shame nor reluctance. And she busted out laughing! When she could speak again, she revealed to me that my very closest friend (the guy who'd introduced us) had told her the very same thing - about how he was the only Black man on the entire Eastern seaboard who had ever touched tongue to twat! (Damn! Was he fuckin her TOO!?!!)

Just goes to show.

But it does strike me that after writing this blog for over three years, I've never written a thing about sex. This, despite that, as much as politics, art, writing, work, the philosophies of living, and anything else I write about, it remains a key area of life.

So, I never got on to the specific subject of sex as an old, married dude, but I believe I'll come back around to it. I have a couple of thoughts on that. Stay tuned, as they used to say. In the meantime, I'll just hope to keep getting fresh material.

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